Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
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Mysterious. Dangerous. Reptilious. You've never seen heroes like this.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Poster
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The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder's diabolical plan.

Title:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Release Date:August 7, 2014
Runtime:
MPAA Rating:PG-13
Genres:Science Fiction, Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Comedy
Production Co.:Paramount Pictures, Nickelodeon Movies, Platinum Dunes
Production Countries:United States of America
Director:Jonathan Liebesman, Paul Hopkins, Adam Schnitzer
Writers:, , , ,
Casts:, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Plot Keywords:martial arts, terrorist, hero, mutation, van, turtle, vigilante, superhero, based on comic book, ninja, new york city, sewer, reboot, science experiment, 3d stereoscopic
Alternative Titles:
  • Nindža kornjače - [RS]
  • Ninja Turtles - [US]
  • TMNT - [US]
  • Tortugas Ninja - [AR]
  • 닌자터틀 - [KR]
  • 忍者龟:变种新任务 - [HK]
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - [US]
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 - [CA]
  • TMNT 1 - [CA]
  • Las tortugas ninja - [ES]
  • Tortugas ninja - [MX]
  • Tortugas Ninja - [CO]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Reviews

  • One-Dimensional Hollywood Fluff with Lousy Writing and Over-the-top Action...(spoilers)
    by theLuauKing on 8 August 2014

    300 out of 417 people found the following review useful:

    I'm not even quite sure where to begin with this movie. I mean, I had decent hopes for it. Leading up to it, so many people seemed to be taking it way to seriously. I mean, come on. Its about giant talking turtles who fight crime. Its not supposed to be that serious. Hoo, boy.

    I guess I'll just start by saying this (spoilers ahead), the changes they made to the origin story don't make any goddamn sense, both in terms of simple logic and quality narrative structure. They completely removed any connection between Splinter and the Shredder, so say goodbye to any emotional connection or tension that that would have brought. And this version Splinter wasn't the ninja master, Hamato Yoshi or even a pet/student of Yoshi. In fact, Yoshi seems to have been omitted completely. So, how does Splinter become a ninja master himself? He reads a book. I'm not even joking. After both he and the turtles mutate he finds a book and teaches himself. And it wasn't even at the very beginning. I mean when Splinter begin teaching himself, the turtles are already walking and talking. He not only learned all of ninjitsu but also somehow mastered it, without any instruction or sparring, in less than ten years? AND he taught it to the turtles? BULLSHIT.

    The turtles themselves are one of the few not-terrible parts of the movie. All of there individual personalities are right where they should be but we are also kind of short-changed on the amount of interaction they have with each other. A bunch of brothers together, getting up to shenanigans? What a great, natural way to have conflict! But no, the movie follows April way too much.

    All of that is indicative of a larger problem with the writing. Both of the villains are BORING. The pacing is uneven and a lot of the dialogue is forced and ham-handed, Michelangelo was the worse in that respect. And believe me, I get it. Mikey is the loud mouth, party turtle. But is is possible (kind of necessary) that if a main character is annoying, to also be likable. Yes, it possible. Severus Snape. Perry Cox. Deadpool. These are all characters that are bad or annoying people but still likable as characters. After a few minutes of listening to Michelangelo, I just wanted him to shut the hell up.

    It doesn't get any better with the villains. I don't remember the last time I watched a movie with such boring villains. Instead of just sticking with one main villain, the Shredder, we now have two...for some reason. WE have Eric Sachs, who is a rich scientist/industrialist and the Shredder, an evil ninja master with no personality. Eric Sachs is working for the Shredder for money? But isn't he already like a billionaire with a castle on a mountain and his own skyscraper?Doe he need more money? What the hell for? Shredder is the most shallow and one-dimensional out of this whole damn movie. We're not really told anything of his back story or shown any of his motivation for anything. The foot clan is also no longer a group of ninja warriors, they're...guys with guns. Completely useless guys with guns (that'll be relevant later).

    They also unnecessarily tie April, Sachs and April's dad into the turtles' back story...for some reason. We don't even really meet April's father. And April is the one who saved them from the lab fire that killed her father...or wait, was it Eric who killed her father? The movie seems to confused on that point. And instead of keeping the baby turtles (like any little girl who likes animals would do) she...dumps them in the sewer? What the hell? The who thing is convoluted and doesn't make any damn sense.

    April O'Neil is uninteresting and stupid. Seriously, I mean she is unintelligent. She is supposedly an educated journalist but spends so much time trying to convince he boss of a "story" of talking, crime- fighting turtles without one single goddamn lick of evidence. Vernon Fenway is apparently supposed to be the comic relief but none of his jokes are funny and his sole role in the film seems to be driving April around. And why the hell is Whoopi Goldberg in this? She had like six lines. Why is she here?

    The camera-work was clichéd and chaotic. There were times when the camera was moving around too much for you to easily follow the action. There is also a serious lack of cool martial arts fights for a NINJA Turtles movie, which is not surprising when you turn their main antagonists from ninja into guys with guns. I also couldn't even begin to take the Shredder serious in the action scenes. Are those giant swiss army knives on his hands? What the hell?

    Finally, the one thing, in my opinion, that sort of breaks the movie the most is that they made the turtles too damn powerful. Yes, the turtles are kind of superheroes. But wasn't being a bunch of kick-ass ninjas enough? No? You gotta give them super strength too? AND MAKE THEM BULLET PROOF!? Remember the previously said bit about the foot being a bunch of guys with guns? Yeah...you might see where I am going with this. It was bad enough to see the turtles throwing cars around and shattering concrete with punches. On some level, the audience needs to believe on some sort of fundamental level that the heroes are danger, that the threats that they face have meaning. Without that, there is no tension, no real conflict and with that...no excitement. No story.

    This movie nuked the fridge.

  • A Bad Movie, Not Just a Bad Turtles Movie
    by cloudsurfer on 10 August 2014

    189 out of 291 people found the following review useful:

    Folks, it's no exaggeration when I say this one is bad. And I'm not just reviewing it as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. The Ninja Turtles are a lore. Every telling of the story deserves its own version, like Dracula, Sherlock Holmes, or Batman. Adam West, Michael Keaton, Christian Bale, and Ben Affleck all play different versions of Batman in different universes. Though I have a version of the Turtles I like best, I can set aside that prejudice for this review. It's just a very awful film. It's so bad, I don't understand how the current rating stands at 6 stars.

    The movie has no real sense of identity, like the filmmakers really had no idea what to do with it. Where are the Turtles going to go? What are they going to do when they get there? Is it going to be spring time or winter? Should it be in the city or in the mountains? Low to the ground in dark settings or high up on roof tops in broad daylight? Are the Turtles stealthy ninjas or mini-Hulks that just needlessly destroy stuff? And are they main characters or secondary plot pieces? Is April O'Neil tech savvy, or does she still conduct interviews with pen and paper? (Through the first half-hour, perhaps even by the end of the film, you'll have a tough time convincing yourself the title shouldn't have been "April O'Neil: The Movie.")

    It's very evident that the writers did not know how to work with "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Again, this has nothing to do with a faithfulness to any kind of version of TMNT. Just, really, they had no clue how to make those four elements work. They're not so much teenagers as they are just dumb. The movie lets the Turtles aspect be self-implied. The Mutants part as well, though it does play loosely into the plot (heh, just kidding, there is no plot). The idea of ninjutsu, though, is a complete afterthought. Seriously, it's just sandwiched in there somewhere and plays no relevance to the story whatsoever, nor has an identifying presence for any character, even Splinter or Shredder.

    Yeah, Shredder. That's a whole other useless incorporation. The guy is somewhere between a clunky Power Ranger villain (the ones in great big suits that don't move very well) and Bane from "Batman and Robin." He doesn't even fill the main villain role. That "honor" would go to William Fichtner's character, Eric sounds-like-sex Sacks. Shredder's just a tool. His appearance, fighting-style, and overall awkwardness are all loud, awful reminders of how the filmmakers knew nothing about ninjutsu or how to use it. "You know what? Just make 'em fight with ninja weapons, put lots and lots of blades around, and be sure the word 'Japan' gets into someone's origin story somewhere. Close enough."

    Yes, the Turtles are kind of funny, but it's completely incidental. There were times when the movie tried to force something humorous, but in the theater I was in, no one laughed. And I was in a packed house. Their personalities are nothing but typecasting: Leo is the serious control-freak, Raphael the brooding B.A., Michelangelo is a goof-ball, and Donatello is the inventive... nerd! Yeah, nerds are inventive, right? Let's make him a snorting, glasses-wearing dork! You know what, just make him Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks. You never feel like you get to be a part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They're just kind of there. The viewer is more watching from April or Vern's vantage point, never fully involved in the brotherhood.

    There's a whole lot more stupid that goes on for the sake of convenience: like Donatello's bo able to flip over an SUV, or the fact that an iron construction beam can't support the weight of Leo and Donnie, but Raph who comes to their rescue can (what, are they as heavy as semi-trucks?). Watch out for the abundance of product-placement. This is a Michael Bay produced film, remember. At one point, Splinter pretty much monologues a Pizza Hut ad.

    In closing, I want to leave you with this, because until we get this, these horrible, ridiculous movies will continue to get made. In an interview with an MTV whoever, TMNT producer Michael Bay said that he doesn't care if people think his movies are bad. Speaking specifically about the latest Transformers installation, "They love to hate, and I don't care. Let them hate. They're still going to see the movie!"

    This movie is a poo-pile of a film. I'm intentionally avoiding the usual puns like "it was a shell-acking" or "I left the theater shell-shocked" because, again, my affinity for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has nothing to do with how bad this movie is. As long as we keep paying to see what we know is going to be a bad movie, they'll keep getting made. And it doesn't matter that they're bad, because we'll pay for it no matter how bad it is.

    Or maybe these movies keep getting manufactured because there is actually a niche of people who like them. After all, it has a rating of 6 out of 10 stars...

  • You really should know what to expect by now
    by Jake Townsend on 7 August 2014

    171 out of 269 people found the following review useful:

    Here we go…

    So Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the reboot to the ever so popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. Directed by Jonathan Liebesman for some reason and produced by Michael Bay, also for some reason.. You all know the story by now. 4 mutated turtles grow up in the sewer raised by a giant rat who knows martial arts and trains them so they can protect the city from Shredder. No difference in this movie.

    So the movie opens up in sort of a graphic novel type animation telling the story of the turtles which I'll admit was a nice nod to the original source material from which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came from. From there we meet April (Megan Fox) who's trying to get a story about the evil foot clan that have been terrorizing the city. She then witnesses the turtles stop them and follows them to get evidence of their existence. The turtles stop her and return to their master who says they need April's help. I won't spoil why. From there they must work together and stop Shredder from releasing a toxin on the city.

    I wanted simply one thing from this movie after all the crap I've seen from it over the last few years. I want the turtles to be the turtles. I want them to reflect how they were in the 2003 cartoon preferably. A darker take but still humorous and likable. I grew up on that and the 80's cartoon and 1990's movies. Thank the lord I got that. The turtles are the best part of this movie. They deliver some funny lines although not everyone of them hit. Like you can feel that the jokes were modeled for kids which the whole movie is basically. It's like a big toy commercial. Or a Crush soda commercial. Or a Samsung phone and tablet commercial. Yeeeeah lot of product placement in this movie. Very obvious at that. Anyways as for the other characters we have April O'Neil played by Megan Fox who was alright. I really wish they worked on her dramatic screams though because those were just awful. We also have Will Arnett as her camera man who I guess is supposed to be the comic relief in this movie but literally does not have one funny joke in the whole thing even though you can feel you're supposed to be laughing but I didn't even smirk. It was like watching a stand up comic bomb his performance. Splinter was an enjoyable character. You could really see how he tied this family together.

    Now if there's one thing I like in a movie it's a good villain. Did I get this? No. No I did not. Shredder has no character to him at all. In the 2003 version of him he got all this character development and I learned the motivation behind why he did what he did. In this he's literally just a guy who wants to make money. Or at least help Eric Sacks (William Fichtner) make money which is a very stupid motivation in my book. Usually villains steal money for the purpose of something bigger but in this.. they just want money. Which Eric already has because he lives in a freakin castle on top of a mountain! How much more money does he need?! Sigh.. Shredder was just so one dimensional and uninteresting. I was so let down by this.

    Well what about the effects? They're actually pretty good. They did make the turtles sweat a lot though. Like A LOT. But it looked nice so I was happy about that. One downside is the CGI went down a little when interacting with humans. Like in Transformers 4. Not much to say other than those two things because I didn't focus on it much.

    One last thing and I know every reviewer is saying this but it can't be said enough. The climax of this movie literally is the end of The Amazing Spider-Man only in the day time. Seriously watch The Amazing Spider-Man before you see this and see how similar it is. It's crazy.

    Going in if you know this director and producer you're not expecting anything amazing. I went in with extremely low expectations and they surpassed them but only very very slightly.

    I give it a 5.5/10.

    The theater had a bunch of 10 year olds who thought the movie was amazing so at least they hit their target audience. But as a long time Ninja Turtles fan I left disappointed and wanting a little more. If it earns back the money maybe a sequel will be better. It won't but a guy can dream.

  • Saw for free, still feel ripped off.
    by H_Spengler on 13 September 2014

    84 out of 109 people found the following review useful:

    Seriously, Michael Bay & Co. should pay me for sitting through this ridiculous pile of tripe.

    Grew up with the comics and cartoon show, loved the 1990 movie. Every sense I possess was repeatedly violated with this poor excuse of a greedy cash grab and pizza hut endorsement.

    I knew not to expect, well, anything really that has Michael Bay's name attached to it, but somehow still managed to be surprised at the sheer badness.

    The turtles themselves look strange, and act strange. Michaleangelo is like some weird semi-gangsta who is downright creepy in a continuing reference obsession with April O'Neil. Raphael is aloof, but exists little beyond that. That's as far as they went trying to define either one of them.

    Leonardo, the brave leader, was completely robbed of his personality, characteristics, leadership and anything that would define him, and has always in the past. He is instead a dissolved Bouillon cube in a large pot of water....bland, bland, bland. His voice (Johnny Knoxville) is miscast, and would've been better befitting either Mikey or Raph...that is if they'd bothered to give them any personality.

    The biggest violations however, lay with Donatello and Splinter, as it seems they thought that hyper-charging the characters would somehow make them interesting, endearing or watchable. "Donatello does machines" translates into exploiting him as a constant, textbook, super nerd. And he does absolutely nothing beyond that. Also, he looks like a Ghostbuster. Say hi to Dr. Donatello Stantz.

    Instead of making Splinter the wise, insightful, deep, sensei he always has been, he's instead to a cardboard cutout that does a lot of "action stuff". Don't get me wrong, the Splinter of the cartoon and comics could certainly hold his own, but violence was always the last resort, and had a rationale. (reminds me of what they did to Yoda in the Star Wars prequels.) And he learns Ninjitsu from a book in the sewer, gone is any mysticism or any pivotal, emotional, or vital connection to important characters in the story.

    Shredder is lame. There's no other way to put it. He is also a hyper charged extension "more blades piled on the suit will make him better!" He is unrecognizable beyond the pile of CGI blades, has no depth, no real motivation, and feels needlessly shoe horned into the "story" Especially since they terminated any connection with Splinter, or the long important history between them. (by the way, welcome to "plot convenience playhouse" when you find out that the turtles and Splinter were pets of April's when she was a girl. How convenient.

    The biggest human violation is no doubt Megan Fox, who continues to show she's a vapid, terrible actress, incapable of emotion, facial expressions, or the ability to close her mouth. She's absolutely terrible and is no April O'Neil. Michael Bay continues to have an obsession with Megan Fox like you would not believe.

    She also has no class, instead of choosing to take criticism constructively and look to improving herself and growing into a mature, capable lady, she instead publicly insults any who bashes this movie; (rightfully so) by saying "f**k you". Real mature Megan, and a great example for your children.

    The best actor of the bunch, William Fichtner. I'm still trying to figure out what purpose he served and why he's in this movie to begin with, I keep looking, but...folks, I got nothing' (why is Will Arnett even here?)

    There's also some defiance of physics as a mountain the size of Everest is apparently located not too far outside NYC, complete with a truck that slides down the side of it for ten straight minutes, with fast paced, confusing, unimpressive special effects.

    The turtles are ridiculously bullet-proof (which leads me to why are the foot soldiers carrying machine guns? Or any guns for that matter?) The answer I came up with: lazy. Why bother to have some Ninjitsu students, or experts, or extras, in your Ninja movie, when it's easier to have a stunt guy fire a gun. (That or the entire budget went to lame special effects.)

    Lots of low energy, thick glass shattering, metal side of van punching through escapes that make no sense at all. A yawn inducing, passionless, "tower rolling down the buildings of NYC" anti-climatic moments. Lame, just lame.

    The solution: a marathon of the late 80's cartoon followed by a viewing of the 1990 movie..just to prove that Michael Bay hadn't killed my soul completely. 1/10.

  • meh
    by regchivas on 2 November 2014

    134 out of 219 people found the following review useful:

    i know, lots and lots have been said about Michael Bay Movies already. Let me add a little more to it.

    There is a certain empty feeling that only a Michael Bay "Masterpiece" is able to produce. An empty feeling that is completely void of any pleasure or pain or happiness or sadness or any other emotion whatsoever. All that you are left with after watching a MB Movie is "Meh".

    He does not disappoint this time either.

    Story is Meh, acting is Meh, Character Development is Meh and so on. With the only notable exception of the action of course. However since everything around the action is Meh, the action becomes Meh too.

    Bad Guys have super powers, they are super Generic run of the Mill. The good Guys also have super Powers...no really, they are Bullet Proof. Hell even the Movie has super Powers, it super Sucks.

    I was going to give it 3 Stars for the Action but thinking about it, I change my mind. For practically raping a beloved childhood franchise, 0 Stars (if possible) would have been a compliment.

    Don't even get me started on Megan Fox by the way.

  • Quite possibly the worst turtles movie ever made
    by vercia-poance on 14 August 2014

    114 out of 197 people found the following review useful:

    Story, presentation, originality, humor, character presentation and acting are all things obviously left unexplored in this epically abysmal 2014 installation of the turtles franchise.

    The action sequences are bland but plentiful. Faithfulness to the original series is lost. Megan Fox acting is quite possibly the worst part of the movie, unbelievable and disconnected throughout.

    With as many franchises that he shits on, I advice you to try to stay as far away as possible from anything Michael Bay touches in the future.

    If you look at it objectively it's like a mash between most popular action films with extremely distinguishable parts taken from others. Combind that with a story so shallow and predictable that a 5 minute trailer video would be a more appropriate medium for this release. We mourn the times when action movies didn't make us cringe in every other scene.

  • Missing the basics of a great TMNT movie
    by slicedbread117 on 13 August 2014

    45 out of 64 people found the following review useful:

    Like many other people, the original 1990 "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie has a very special place in my childhood. Even if the movie wasn't all that great, it was fantastic for what it was trying to be. Now we're in 2014, where our beloved turtles have been given a whole new lick of paint with a straight-up reboot and have the daunting task of winning the long time TMNT faithful over. Needless to say that for the most part, I am one fan that was not entirely won over.

    First and foremost, the Turtles. What is the fundamental premise of the TMNT? They're wise-cracking, pizza-eating, energetic teenagers that just so happen to be mutated ninja turtles that fight crime. The Turtles are goofballs, but in 2014, it's a little bit of a different story. There's still the humor, the jokes and comedy, but now the turtles are massive 6-foot-tall, muscle-bound turtle-men who have a very gritty feel to them, and when they're not in action, look way too real and off-putting. If they weren't green and didn't have shells, the Turtles would literally just be your average hulking action heroes. This franchise is about giant turtles who do martial arts. It's a goofy concept. Giving the Turtles a gritty makeover seems to miss the appeal of the characters in a fundamental way. However, despite the poor design choice of the Turtles, they really are a joy to watch. It might be a lot more serious than you'd expect from TMNT, but the Turtles are still wildly entertaining and more action-fueled than ever with the help of solid effects and choreography that bring the Turtle action to life. If you can withstand the eyesore that the Turtles' design brings, then there is still a lot of old school TMNT magic to revisit.

    For the movie's main plot, you have what is essentially the most painfully basic, generic action story that a film can get. The movie is so predictable, it's almost laughable. What is also very disappointing is that the Turtles are no longer fighting crime, even though that's what is essentially believed, but a basic supervillain. Yes, the ultimate TMNT villain Shredder is in the film, but not only does he not get the screen time or proper development he deserves, he's basically cast aside as a secondary villain to the "I'm rich but have to get richer" villain that is Eric Sacks. It's disappointing to not be able to see the Turtles fight their way through dozens of foot soldiers like the old days, with all of the witty remarks during combat intact. There are still funny lines sputtered during combat, but the action scenes are so limited that there's simply not enough of it.

    Not helping is the horrendous casting of Megan Fox as April O'Neil. In 1990, April O'Neil was the hot shot news reporter that made the amazing discovery of the Turtles and she developed an amazing bond with them. She was important to the story no doubt, but wasn't essential in the Turtle's story. Fast forward to 2014, and now April is nothing but the center of attention for everything in the movie, even essential back story information about the Turtles. Megan Fox amazingly gets much more screen time than the Turtles, and every time she comes on screen I cringe until our shelled heroes return. Not every action movie has to have an epic story line or to feel gritty and real. TMNT is supposed to be all about the opposite, but the unfortunate presence of producer Michael Bay is clearly felt in the direction of the film. From the camera shots, to the serious tone of the action to the slow motion parts, this movie has too much of a focus on seriousness, when it should be taking itself very lightly.

    Like I stated earlier, despite the off-putting design and feel of the Turtles, they still are a lot of fun to watch and are the lifeblood of the film. What is missing, however, is the strong character development of the Turtles. There isn't enough down time in the movie to really get to know them. Some of the best moments of the 1990 film were in the form of the Turtles hanging out, making jokes, eating pizza and training together. That chemistry was not felt as strongly in the new TMNT and the movie just assumes that you all ready know who and what each Turtle is all about. But all you really find out is that one is a jokester, one's a tech geek, one's the leader and one has anger issues. More down time and better character development would've given the Turtles the extra boost to make them the incredibly entertaining bunch they're meant to be.

    Being such a huge TMNT fan, I wanted to have higher expectations for this reboot. But with Megan Fox and Michael Bay attached, the poor look and design of the Turtles, along with the general off-setting feel of the film, I had to come in with lower expectations. There are some wonderful action sequences and the Turtles bring enough pop to the movie to make them likable and fun, but sadly, my low expectations were met in this failed attempt the reboot a childhood classic.

    6/10

  • Teenage Mutant CGI Turtles.
    by metalrage666 on 28 September 2014

    37 out of 58 people found the following review useful:

    All I can say is thank God I was given a free ticket to see this garbage as I can't understand why anyone would want to spend money to sit through this. This whole movie was just drivel from beginning to end and I can guarantee that there is are better ways to waste 100 minutes of your life.

    I won't even bother with trying to put into words the overall story, if there even is one, but I can't help but wonder why this was even necessary. The turtles came to fame in the late eighties/early nineties and given the success of the cartoon, it spawned 3 live action movies, yet by the late nineties the turtle fad faded and despite there being a cartoon series in the mid 2000's and another movie, this whole exercise of doing this reboot, or re-tool or re-imagining etc. now in 2014 seems pointless, even if there is a newish cartoon series doing the rounds.

    The movie of course has the obligatory origins of the turtles and splinter but again, was that even necessary? The action is fast paced and frenetic and despite the overly well choreographed fight sequences and the action taking place, the whole movie was just plain boring. Maybe I've seen just too much of this before or maybe the whole issue of Michael Bay sucking the life out of everything that we grew up with is wearing thin. First Transformers and now this. What's next? Michael Bay and the Muppets or Fraggle Rock?

    The dialogue is unfunny and lame, the action sequences were tedious and predictable, you don't care for any of the characters, the fight scenes were ho-hum, and the ending was as clichéd as any I've seen. The scene where they are all falling, and then skiing and then sliding down the mountain and avoiding getting killed, hurt, crushed and everything else that would normally happen, is enough to give anyone an epileptic seizure right there and then. And no doubt we can look forward to sequels of this, as of course Michael Bay will want to cash in on the success of anything until there's nothing left but a pile of shrivelled excrement.

    In the immortal words of Bart Simpson, "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this movie both sucks and blows". And that right there is what you can expect from this trash.

  • Horrible Movie
    by kenziebaxter1313 on 13 September 2014

    37 out of 58 people found the following review useful:

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has been around for many years and many kids have enjoyed it very much. Those children must be severely disappointed with this horrifying display of a once semi-interesting story line. Honestly, the new animated TMNT Nickelodeon TV show is better than this movie, and that show has some very questionable and disturbing things. For one thing, what kind of writer has plot changing scenes that are all based on conveniently placed objects or stupidity of characters? I mean really, the rat conveniently discovers an advanced ninjitsu book in a sewer? What did Jackie Chan drop his hand book last time he wrestled a crocodile? And what kind of evil mastermind, who doesn't want anything getting in his way and wants all the turtles dead, would settle for a simple "yeah, that turtle is dead" and not even attempt to be completely certain and just basically is completely okay with that? Not only are the fight scenes terribly disappointing and short, but the jokes aren't even laugh worthy. While sitting in the theater, not even a pity laugh was uttered after the failed attempt at humor. If there is one thing TMNT is known for, it's the humor, specifically Michelangelo's jokes. It's really pathetic when the only jokes the, theoretically, funniest character can come up with are potty humor and stupidity. Nickelodeon is more clever than that, and they didn't even have as much money on the line. Yeah, the box office results for TMNT are huge, but just think about it. Box office results tell you how many people went to see the movie, not how many people actually liked the movie walking away from it. It makes you ashamed to have participated in the box office results that are leading more people to waste their money on this movie. So, basically, if you are a TMNT fan from childhood, don't waste your time if you haven't already made that mistake. And don't fool yourself into believing it's a good movie simply because you hoped it would. I would say, don't waste your time or money. I'm sorry for those of you who actually liked this movie. It is just simply disappointing, and I guess an opinion is an opinion. I just hope that you won't have to walk away wishing you hadn't walked in in the first place.

  • So, you're... Ninja Mutant Turtle Teenagers?
    by CowherPowerForever on 6 August 2014

    144 out of 273 people found the following review useful:

    After years of trying to bring this franchise back to the big screen, Michael Bay and his company, Platinum Dunes was able to do it. Sadly, the effort was just as sad most of the recent Michael Bay films. Without Bay behind the camera on this project, we are left with an even worse story(if that is possible), and just awful action. This is my review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

    The film was written by Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec, and Evan Daugherty. Appkebaum and Nemec recently worked on the smash hit from 2011, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. While Daugherty is more popularly known for witting the recent film, Divergent. With the talent level behind this film, I'm surprised at how downright awful the story was written. It is true that a director can change things around but, on this movie I know of nothing like that happening, so the blame goes to this writing crew. The story is very quick, and rushes downright absurd backstories, only to force us sub-par action scenes for most of the movie. So, basically this is your average Michael Bay film, only this time Bay is only the Producer. Having let the movie sit in for a bit, I honestly see no good in this story at all. As I said it is rushed very quickly, to push the Bay style of a film. Not sure who to blame for sure, these writers are better than this, and the effort on this film was very poor.

    The film was directed by Jonathan Liebesman. Liebesman recently directed Wrath of the Titans(not an awful film at all in my opinion). His effort in this film was very poor. The action scenes seemed very forced, and look like garbage. The CGI was some of the worst I've seen in a big blockbuster like this. The acting from Meagan Fox, is as you would expect, garbage. This is nothing new and should be expected by now. Even the great William Fichtner(Eric Sacks) feels wasted in this film. That is a shame since Fichtner is one of the best actors today. Voice over work wasn't bad but, having Johnny Knoxville voice Leonardo was an awful casting decision. He literally adds an element of awful that I didn't seem coming. From the first time we hear him, you just want to punch the screen. It doesn't get any better. So, Liebesman gets a big fat failing grade for this film.

    Brian Tyler composed the score for this film, and also scored the film, Into the Storm, which will be released on the same day as this film oddly enough. Just as his effort was underwhelming in that film, I also thought it was mostly underwhelming in this film. There are a few action scenes where his talent is used nicely but, overall it is nothing special.

    Overall, this film is simply awful, and a giant waste of time. Sure the die-hard fans will rush out to see this movie but, a nickles worth of free advice, it will ruin your hopes. Children will likely want to see this movie as well but, be warned parents, there is a good bit of heavy action. For the rest who were on the fence to being with, if you really want to see this film, just wait until it is on home video. This is a rental at best, and even then it is a waste of perfectly good money.

    I went to a RealD 3D showing and will have some comments on that as well. The 3D scenes are pretty bad. Nothing that keeps you from paying attention during the film though. It adds very little depth and even less in items of popping out at the screen. So, if you truly do go out and see this film, then bypassing the 3D is the best option. Save that extra money.

    2/10

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